How many people do you know who struggle with their health?
Chances are, whether they show it or not, most of the people in your life do.
And chances are, you're one of them.
Whether you're dealing with anxiety, depression, endometriosis, acne, eczema, autoimmune, thyroid,
Lyme, brain fog, fatigue, or any other symptom or condition, you're far from alone.
Living with symptoms has become the new normal.
So no more guessing games.
It's time to get answers.
Welcome to the Medical Medium Podcast.
I'm Anthony William.
Hey, everybody.
We have a special guest today.
Her name's Alyssa Degotti.
She survived hell and back.
She came from things that people who have never experienced sickness or chronic illness could ever dream of.
And not dream of in a positive, happy way.
And she survived.
She fought her way back from pulmonary embolisms in over a hundred different symptoms.
And it's not like she had a lot of help.
she had a fight for it the whole way this is a story that you want to hear she's also going to
sing a couple of songs for us she's a talented singer songwriter i'm honored to have her here
and so without further ado let's bring her on hey alissa you here i'm here hello incredible
I'm honored to have you here on medical medium podcast and usually we just do the podcast solo
but your story's amazing and people need to hear it because there's a lot of people out there that
have suffered and they're struggling and they have lots of symptoms and they know what it's like to
be in your shoes and I want people to know you can heal there's a way to heal you've done it
you've come all the way back from that sickness and you got quite a story it's incredible really
I mean when I even hear it or I even talk to you about it my mind always is blown because
no one gets it unless you've been there and I'm sure you know that very same thing because
if you've talked to people and in your life or anybody then they just can't imagine like what
you've been through and what your story is. And, you know, I think that to have you on here right
now is so special. And you're also going to be singing for us too, like two incredible songs,
right? Yes. I'm so, I'm so happy and so honored to be here. Thank you so much for having me.
Incredible. I think what I want everybody to know is that to have Alyssa on is very special. She's
going to talk about her story from childhood and where it led to almost dying dying at a very young
age and then her fight back and it's incredible so what i've always said to everybody's just
fasten your seat belts before you tell your incredible story of how you healed and came back
from near death are you up for a song angel of mercy i would love to incredible
If I'm being honest, I've been feeling hopeless.
It's dark and cold in here.
Not too much of fear.
I don't want to do this on my own.
And I'm scared of being alone.
Hey, angel of mercy.
Can you hear my grave?
This world is heavy.
There's too much to carry.
Will you take it from me?
Surrendering.
Surrendering.
It's hard to see the end of the road.
When all I see is the end of the road
I know it gets better in time
But I feel so blind
I don't want to fight this anymore
Everything feels unsure
Hey, angel of mercy
Can you hear my cry?
This world is heavy
There's too much to carry
Will you take it from me?
I'm surrendering
I'm surrendering
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me?
Hey, angel of mercy. Can you hear my cry?
This world is heavy
There's too much to carry
Will you take it from me?
I'm surrendering
I'm surrendering
Surrender me
That song just tugs my heart so much.
It's just, it's crazy.
And because it's not just a song.
I mean, tell me like the origins of that song, right?
Isn't that when you just found medical medium information?
Yes.
So I just found your first book.
and I hadn't started your information yet.
I hadn't started any healing tools,
but I read the chapter on the angels
and then I just sat down at my piano
and I hadn't played music in like six years,
but I just felt so called to just go sit at the piano
and inspired and I also was just at the end of my rope
and I sat down at the piano
And I just started to pray and out came Angela Mercy in about five minutes.
And it was one of the most powerful experiences of my life, equal to when I first found the book and read, started reading it.
But it was very powerful and very healing.
And I was shocked that that came out of me because it felt like I was being healed through this song.
And it was the power of Angela Mercy.
so it's like when you find the medical meeting book one i've heard that story
of finding the medical meeting book one out there where people it's just divine guidance or
it's providential or you know or angelic and they find the book and something changes inside of them
and you know i've heard this throughout my life i mean throughout the years since that book was out
and this is like the quintessential story of it really of you know you find the book
and then something just changes or shifts that there's a shift that happens right
and that's what totally like a shift is that's what i call it it's like wait a minute there's hope
you know and there's hope there's there's a way out of this something's happening here
and for you to write such a song, I mean, that's like, that's there.
It was absolutely divine intervention and a shift is a great way to describe it.
It's hard to articulate, but it was just very, very physical.
Like my whole being shifted and the song too, just, it was a very powerful moment.
And what I wanted to ask you is like, you were young when you were first getting sick. And I think it was age nine, especially age nine. I think you told me that you're having a tremendous amount of trouble with your health overall. Can you fill us in on where it started there?
Yeah. So when I was nine, I started my cycle and that's when I started developing all of these symptoms like overnight. So I had, I had heavy cycles, heavy bleeding and cramping and hormonal issues.
But that's when I was plagued with acne all over my body from nine years old.
And I started gaining weight and hot flashes.
I just had like, like my life felt like it turned upside down overnight when I started my cycle.
And that went on for years and it progressively got worse.
And I was just always at the doctor and always on medications and trying to just like help symptoms.
And nothing ever worked.
And I just kept getting worse.

And when you're that young and you have this history, it's, you know, we're not, we live in this world where we're not supposed to experience that.
We're just not.
But yet we do.
It's a nine-year-old, 10-year-old, 11-year-old is not supposed to be seeing doctor after doctor after doctor, you know, suffering and struggling with symptoms.
and was it, it was interfering with your life? You felt like? Absolutely. Absolutely. Well,
I was a performer too at a young age. And so the first big thing for me was there was a bit of
shame just with starting my cycle so young because nobody, none of my friends were there,
but it was the acne because I was a competitive dancer and I was singing and performing. And I
just like the amount of shame and embarrassment that I felt from that. And especially because
nobody else had acne either at that age. So I just felt like a bit of a leper. Like I just felt like
it was a cruel joke or something like why I didn't understand. And I became very, very
self-conscious and it affected me wanting to perform, um, and, and do what I love to do.
So that was really, really painful that. And then the weight gain as well. It made it hard when I
was trying to, to be a singer and, um, yeah. It's not like, it's not like someone said, look,
it's going to be okay. I mean, because that's what we would want to tell our children. And,
you know, that's what we want to tell. That's what, if you're a child, you would want to hear
somewhere is like, this is going to be okay. You know, you're going to get past this. You're
going to heal. It's okay to have acne. It's okay to have, you know, these bumps on your skin and
it don't be ashamed, you know, and, and, but it's not like that in life. It's not that easy. It's,
I mean, when someone's 25 years old and they have acne, it's like devastating to them. Now I hear
about it all the time where women and men, they're just devastated. So here you are, 9, 10,
11 years old, and you're dealing with that as a symptom. And that's one symptom. You're dealing
with multiple symptoms at that age. Sometimes when people just have acne and they're 20 years
old or 25 years old or 30 years old or even 35, 40, it's just that one symptom can be brutal and
can really take a lot out of us, can take a lot out of a person. And here you are,
you're basically a baby. And so it's so difficult. I just, I can't imagine.
It was so difficult. It really was. And that's when I really like adopted the belief that
maybe I had bad genes. Nobody had told me that. I just thought that I, there was something wrong
with me because I didn't see anyone around me having to suffer with that. And it just felt
really unfair and, and really hopeless even at that age. And then it just, it really, really held
me back from doing a lot of things that I could have done or wanted to do that I just felt too
ashamed to do. Whether it was simply just. Do you, do you think, sorry, I cut you off. Do you think
that if someone was to say, Hey, Alyssa, your genes are bad. You would just fall in line with
that in a second in a heartbeat because you've already were feeling like that's what it must be.
Absolutely. Absolutely. And that would have made sense. I guess at that age, that would have been
an answer. But instead, I just went to the dermatologist all the time and I tried every
cream and every, every laser and burnt my skin off doing peels and all the pharmaceuticals,
all the antibiotics. And, and they would always tell me like, yeah, there's no cure for acne. So
I kind of felt doomed from the start, but the fact that it was not, it wasn't just my face,
it was back and chest. It was just like, it was brutal. It was brutal.
So what were you doing to like help it? Like who was telling you to do this or
do that or what can help or what direction to go?
so I was going to all these doctors and just you know getting prescriptions and then at the same
time that I had the acne I was gaining weight and so then I was put on my first diet at 12
and then that from that I developed an eating disorder because I felt deprived and it got the
weight off initially but then it turned into me binging and closet eating and all of this shame
and that just begun many years of eating disorder.
And I remember, and I had all these trainers
and all of these nutritionists
and just all these people that tried to help.
And I, again, was told,
you'll have an eating disorder forever.
This is not something you outgrow.
It's just something that you manage.
And so all the influences around me,
it wasn't very hopeful.
It wasn't very positive or encouraging.
What was the eating disorder like? What kind was it in a sense where I know there's so many different versions and variables to it?
well a fun fact about me I've actually never vomited so and because I haven't I had a fear
of that so I think that's what kept me from being full-on bulimic but I binged and I would binge
behind closed doors um because I felt like it was something that I couldn't have and I had to sneak
it and hide it and it was very shameful and so I would binge and then I would just keep gaining
weight um but at the same time I was on a lot of laxatives which I think kind of balanced it out
So I was told diagnosed binging disorder rather than bulimia, but I definitely coped with overeating and coped by turning to food and just always feeling like I had to fill some sort of void with all that shame.
So, and yeah, it really, it really was tormenting.
It felt like it was something I couldn't ever escape until a few years later when the tables turned.
how old were you how old were you when you got diagnosed with the binging disorder
oh goodness maybe 13 or 14 that's so difficult yeah and it's not like you were feeling good
either it's not like you were feeling at your best i mean you were what happens with people
is that they live with the symptoms and they don't know what it's like to live without them
so it becomes part of the normal every day
where it's like you're probably not even complaining.
You're just trying to survive at this point.
So you're 13 years old.
You're probably feeling tired.
You're probably feeling exhausted,
probably emotionally exhausted.
And you're concerned and worried about the acne coming and going,
the weight gain coming and going.
And then the different doctor's appointments and nutritionists
and everything else that you're going to see.
and with all of it it's it's you're probably dealing with all kinds of little symptoms in
and out of it right there that you're not even really expressing or able to express because
we can get lost in that like were you dealing with other symptoms in the moment like i know
you had other stuff come up after that oh absolutely i had on top of all that and and i
just want to say too like all of that was it's it's horrible enough just being a normal kid
dealing with that. But on top of it, I had the pressure of being in the music business because
I was working professionally as early as 12. And so then there was the pressure from labels and
people in the industry that was like, you need to lose weight, you need to do it. So it was like
double pressure on me to just feel like I had to be perfect. And I just remember feeling just so
disgusting about myself. Like, I know that's a harsh word, but that's when I began to really
just hate myself as sad as that is to say. And it was really all I knew. And so on top of the
severe acne and the eating disorder, I had so much, so many other hormonal things. I had
all of the strep symptoms. So I had really bad seasonal allergies. I would go and get allergy
shots at the allergist like weekly. And every year I would get three to four sinus infections
that would turn into bronchitis, pneumonia,
and I was on steroids and antibiotics
multiple times every year.
And that just continued on,
that with all the other hormonal stuff.
And then I was on pharmaceuticals for acid reflux,
that age, the seasonal allergies, constipation, acne.
So I was loaded up very young.
How old were you when you were loaded up with all the meds?
And it, you know, it started to build on itself, but it started around 12, 13. And then by the time I was 16, it was so severe. And I was in and out of specialists because at this point, my cycles had become utterly debilitating where I couldn't function.
and it was like I would pass out from pain.
The fatigue was unbearable.
The nausea, the bleeding was so, so heavy on top of everything else.
And it just started to really interfere with my life.
So then I ended up at, you know, top hospitals and seeing specialists
and trying to rule out what was going on.
And they couldn't figure it out why I was having such horrible periods.
You know what a lot of people don't understand?
And even doctors don't understand this is that when you're 16 years old, when you're young, your body is trying to fight with everything it has to grow, survive, thrive.
And when you have that many symptoms and you're getting beaten down by them at 16,
while your body's trying to propel itself into health and strength and developing into a strong
person as you're growing, you're dealing with all these harsh, harsh symptoms. And it's not like
when you're 50 years old with all these symptoms, you know, you've already gotten to a point of
growing up, you've already gotten to a point of getting to that being an adult and a long enough.
But when you're young, it's like your body's trying to survive. It's trying to thrive. It's
trying to break through all that. And you're dealing with all these symptoms. And that brings
a lot of confusion too, because, Hey, you're 16 years old. Why aren't you normal? Why aren't you
supposed to be strong? How come you're not, you know, acting normal? How come you're going to all
these doctor's appointments? Why are you on all these medications? Why are you balled up on the
couch, you know, crying because you're in pain. And why are you in? And I think that people don't
realize that you're, that's how much you were up against. Because when we're young like that,
we're supposed to have all this like super strength inside of us, like indestructible.
That's how we're supposed to feel. And here you are up against all that pain and suffering at
such a young age, which means it was a lot of pain and suffering because that's when we usually feel
at the least when we're growing and we're in that strength and developing into an adult and our
bodies are in a place where we are in this indestructible moment. And that feeling anyway,
when you're young and people feel that in their twenties, they feel that in their early thirties,
sometimes they just feel indestructible. They can do whatever, go wherever. And if you're
being that beaten down, that bad with all those symptoms at that moment in your life,
then it's really bad. It means you were really suffering and it was really, really bad.
It was really, really bad. And, and I didn't know any different, but you know, with all of that
physical stuff, it was like the emotional component too, that no one talks about. And
it just, it made it double, like double the suffering because I felt alone, even at that
with all that I was going through.
But you're just creating all that.
That's your fault.
You're creating all the emotional instability.
You're just a bad person, Alyssa.
Exactly.
You're crying out for attention.
You're a drama queen.
You're a drama queen.
You're crying out for attention.
You just want to cause trouble and cause problems
and pretend you're sick.
And are you faking it?
Are you faking it?
It's not that bad.
It must be a middle child thing, middle child syndrome.
Yeah.
Your last doctor said you shouldn't be in that much discomfort.
You should be fine.
You know, you're a teenager.
You're just, you're fine.
You know, like you must be making all this up.
Or you'll grow out of it.
And you'll grow out of it, right?
But you're not making it up.
You're suffering.
You're struggling.
You're going through something that, you know, no one would know unless they've gone through it themselves.
And I'm sure there's a lot of listeners that have been through so much, been through a lot of trials with their health.
And so you're speaking their language.
They understand what you're saying.
But the people that have never been there before, I'm hoping they learn from this when they hear this podcast.
Me too.
Yeah, right?
Because they might run into somebody in their life or have a child that goes through this.
And this is invaluable information.
your experience is unlike any other. And we didn't even get to the next part. Now you're
16 years old. And so the doctor puts you on the pill. Is that what happened?
Yeah. So I landed at actually an oncologist because they thought maybe I had cancer. That's
how severe it had gotten and scary. And then they finally ruled out the tumor and they diagnosed me
with ovarian cysts. And they said, you have fluid filled cysts. This is very common. And we don't
want to do surgery because you're so young, but you know, our typical treatment plan is to put you
on the pill and that will, that will cure all of your other symptoms that will help your acne and
your hot flashes and all the hormonal things going on. So in my mind, it was like, great,
like sign me up. I, you know, I'm so desperate for relief from all of this. I'll do anything.
And off I went with my prescription and began birth control.
and then shortly after that you almost die yeah so within a matter of four or five months
i woke up in the middle of the night and just out of the blue and i was in excruciating
back pain and it was wrapping around in my chest and it was like the stabbing
back pain that i couldn't get relief from um no matter how i tried if i tried to lay a certain way
and it was worse when I would take a deep breath.
And I woke up the next morning and I went downstairs and told my mom.
And everybody thought that I was crazy.
I thought I was having a heart attack because the pain was so severe.
And mind you, I really did never complain of pain
because I just had a high pain tolerance.
And I had been through so much already
that I just wasn't someone that ever whined about anything.
But this was unlike anything I ever experienced.
And even I thought it was crazy,
But the only thing I could equate it to was, wow, this has got to be like what a heart attack feels like.
So my mom got me an appointment at my doctor and I took eight Advil.
And I went to the doctor and they had no idea.
And they just assumed it was pleurisy.
And they said it was a viral inflammation of my lungs.
And it had to run its course.
But the doctor wanted to be safe.
And so he sent me to the hospital.
And I went and had all the tests, lung x-rays, everything.
I was there all day and it was torture and I left and everything was clear and everything was great.
And so I had peace of mind and then I tried to go about my life.
And it was an exciting week at school because I was senior year of high school and it was homecoming week.
So there was all these festivities and I just was so miserable that I could barely get through each day.
And so a week went by and the only thing I was doing was just taking eight Advil, like around the clock, which probably saved my life looking back.
But I kept going on days with this pain and it eventually got so bad.
I think by the seventh day I was completely, I had no color.
My lips were blue.
I couldn't even hold up a spoon to eat breakfast.
And I went crying to my mom before school, begging her to please let me stay home because I just wanted to find relief in any way.
I was just so uncomfortable. And she called the doctor again. And the doctor had said something
doesn't sound right. And I really think you should go back to the hospital. And I was begging my mom
not to go, because I didn't want to go sit there and wait all day. And I already thought that I was
fine, because we had all the tests, and they were clear. But we ended up going back. And I sat there
for another several hours. And then they did a test and a CAT scan. And then they found that not
only did I have a blood clot, my lungs were filled with blood clots. And, you know, talking to so
many doctors and also doing the work that I've done for so many years, for decades, I've seen a
lot of blood clots in my work. Spirit of Compassion has showed me a lot of blood clots inside people's
lungs throughout the years with people just being in my office or on the phone. And I know how
serious they are. And I've talked to a lot of pulmonologists. I've talked to a lot of doctors,
a lot of different specialists over the years. And it's life-threatening to say the least,
but having lots of blood clots, that's when it's extremely dangerous. Not just one blood clot and
one blood clot is life-threatening and two is life-threatening. And so you had your lungs
were filled with blood clots. Yeah. And they didn't start in my legs or anywhere else.
They formed in my lungs. And I remember seeing the images and they showed me and all the little,
I don't know the technical terms, but all the little blood vessels that it looks like
tree branches in your lungs, they were all just clogged with blood clots. It was unbelievable.
What did they do right when that happened?
So immediately they started me on heparin on a blood thinner drip. And I was admitted and I was
there and I had to undergo all these tests because they were trying to figure out, okay, why does a
seemingly healthy 17 year old girl have this life threatening condition that we've never seen before?
This isn't supposed to happen. And I underwent every test. They did an ultrasound of my heart,
went in with a camera. They wanted to see if I had a hole in my heart. They tested everything
genetic and they couldn't find anything. And to me, it seemed obvious. The only thing different
I had added in was taking this hormone. And I had seen the commercials and I heard, you know,
it's a side effect. It's a potential. And to my amazement, because I had a team of specialists
like working my case and doctors at this very prestigious hospital in town. And they were
adamant that there was no way that this was caused by the birth control. They just said that the
percentage was too small. I was too young and there was just no way. So I ended up leaving after I
left the hospital and, and, um, I had no answers. I was back and forth to hematologists like weekly,
multiple times a week. And they later, they found like that I had three of the five symptoms of
lupus and I think a positive ANA and things that were just sort of like weird, like a sick thyroid.
And so they said, you might have lupus, but we're not going to diagnose you with that. And
I had nothing hereditary, like nothing genetic that came up, no family history. And they just
landed on that it was, you know, the certain antibodies in my body mixed, you know, with
the situation, it created the perfect storm. And, you know, it was just a freak thing. And they
didn't know why, but all they could say was that I would be very high risk going forward and that
this could happen again. So to my 17 year old mind, this was very unsettling, very troubling,
and I had no certainty. And I didn't know how to go on from that, move on with my life, not knowing
why I just had this life-threatening condition.
And I mean, is it going to happen again?
How do I prevent this?
And I had no answers.
So it was really traumatic to say the least.
Yeah, because you already had a history of feeling sick.
You've already had a history of suffering, struggling.
And now, okay, we're in this now a new aspect of it,
like a brand new part of it.
How much more can you take?
I mean, you're 17 years old.
You already have PTSD from everything you've been through all the way up until then.
Yeah.
And now it's okay.
You have this life threatening, mysterious, you know, disease or situation.
And I've heard it thousands of times about, well, your ANA is up and maybe it's some kind of antibody.
Maybe it's genetic.
Maybe your body's attacking itself.
We don't know what's going on.
Maybe you got lupus.
Maybe you got Lyme disease.
Maybe you have something.
and that's not reassuring because i think what we find out is when we're sick is science and
research just doesn't have the answers because if the doctors don't have the answers then
there's a lot of wondering and guessing and different names being thrown around that doesn't
make a person feel safe either i mean when you're 17 it's like give me an answer i need an answer to
what this is. So, cause, because having the mystery with it just makes it all worse.
Absolutely. And it was, that really was the start of my PTSD, but I didn't realize it yet,
but I just knew, I mean, I was, I lived at the doctor and I lived at the hospital. I mean,
for a good year after that and with the recovery and they sent me home with a port in my stomach
and I had to give myself shots. Like I had to time it. Cause if I missed one, they said it
could be life threatening. And so I had to around the clock give myself these blood thinners. And I
was in and out of the doctors getting blood draws all the time and just feeling really weak and like
not a 17 year old. But I remember asking my doctor, like, how do I know if when they're gone?
Because they couldn't tell me they just said, well, we just have to wait and see if they dissolve
on their own. There's not much we can do. And I was so uncomfortable with that, that I would go in
for CAT scans, like multiple times a month for my peace of mind. And they allowed me to do this
just to check and see if they were gone. So, I mean, even just the amount of radiation I was
getting in that time period alone was just unreal. Yeah. I mean, did you stop the pill at the same
time? Yeah. So I stopped immediately once they diagnosed the pulmonary embolisms and they did
tell me I could never take that again, but then they said, well, you can take just the progesterone
There's other things that you can do, but I could never take full on estrogen again.
And then they instilled the fear in me that if I ever chose to have kids someday, that
it was going to be really dangerous and I could die.
And that made me never want to have kids.
And it was just really awful.
And it doesn't go away in your mind.
It just doesn't.
It's like there.
You can't erase what you're learning and experiencing and feeling.
you're just you're living with it it's like you wake up in the morning and there probably wasn't
a moment in your day that you could not think about it you're living with it you got a port
you're doing injections you're seeing doctors left and right and it's it just doesn't go away
and that's kind of a big part of too and how the ptsd just takes off and takes root really deep
because it's something you wake up to in the morning,
you go to bed with it at night.
And it's not like someone saying,
hey, it's going to be okay.
You know, it's like, it's always like, am I going to die?
Is something going to happen?
Yeah.
And I never had that reassurance.
No one ever said you're going to be okay
because maybe nobody knew,
but I desperately wanted that.
And I just became like really hyper aware of my body and I had developed like this tachycardia and these heart symptoms.
And it just sort of like spiraled from there.
But I didn't I didn't realize what was happening.
I didn't realize this was PTSD and I just was trying to cope the best that I could and trying to live my life and and focus on the happy stuff.
I think this is when the subconscious just starts to kick in.
It's like, hey, I almost died.
You know, I'm 17 years old and almost died after being sick for so many years.
And something happens with the subconscious mind and our soul.
And it starts to collide with the present consciousness.
They start to collide together in that moment.
and then all of a sudden, boom, you get the crippling anxiety.
You can, you know, spiraling into crippling depression.
What was happening with the tachycardia?
Like, did that happen shortly after?
That was coinciding with the blood clot.
So I remember like as soon as I was out of the hospital
and I was back to school,
I would find myself in the principal's office almost daily
just with my heart beating out of my chest
and I was always checking my pulse
And it was always like in the 150s.
And I just, I don't know if it was from what I had just been through, if it was a physical
thing or if it was the anxiety or both, but I know that I felt weak and I just didn't
have the stamina.
So even just, you know, walking just simply down the hall, I would just feel like winded
and just weak.
Like I just, I couldn't do it.
And I know they, they allowed me to not have to take PE and I could take the elevator.
So they tried to cater to me going through all of that.
But it was just, it was not fun to experience as a 17-year-old and feeling like so different from everybody else.
And yeah, it was really, really hard.
So moving out of that, were the symptoms always there?
Because from what I remember, you know, talking to you in the past and stuff, they just different symptoms just carried on.
But they, but you would just try to struggle and fight through it and try to live your life.
So you're turning 18 years old.
Yeah.
So then I graduated high school and I'm a little bit better on my feet.
Like a year has gone by and I decide, I have to decide if I'm going to stay and go to college
here or if I'm going to try to take a shot at music again.
And I decided, you know, I feel like I survived something that I shouldn't have.
And I was given a second chance at life.
So I'm really going to go give this my all.
And I moved back out to California by myself and started to pursue music at a deeper level.
And that was a whirlwind.
And in a matter of a few months, I had my first panic attack, like my true first panic
attack that landed me in the hospital.
And I just felt like I was reliving that moment that day when I had the blood clots.
And that time when I was having the panic attack, I was convinced that I was having a stroke because I was feeling these weird sensations in my head and in my body.
And when I got to the hospital, they said it was panic and sent me on my way.
And then that kept happening while I was out there.
And it finally became so severe that I had to leave and say goodbye to my dreams.
And that was like one of the most depressing moments of my life and having to accept like, wow, this isn't being supported anymore.
I can't I can't do this. And I failed. And what am I going to do with my life?
There's nothing else I want to do. So. This isn't fun.
You suffered a loss. You suffered a great loss. And how old were you right around that time?
19 so you're 19 so you're 19 years old you're you're trying to follow your dreams
which means everything when you're 19 yes like you're trying to follow your dreams you're trying
to your aspirations you're trying to make something out of your life because you know
you have this creativity you have this gift you want to share it with the world you want to do
things and you want to live your life. You want to live your life. And all of a sudden that gets
shut down. And it's like, nope, you can't do this, Alyssa. No way. It's not going to happen.
It's something like you can't battle. It's something you can't fight against.
It's like, no, you're being physically shut down. So as you're being physically shut down,
all your dreams are being shut down too. And no one knows what that's like unless they've been
in somebody's shoes that have experienced unless they've experienced it themselves.
And it's devastating.
It's devastating.
Devastating.
Oh, beyond, beyond devastating.
And I just, I didn't, that was the first time I really experienced depression, true depression,
because I just, I had nothing that I wanted to live for.
And it just felt like I was being robbed of everything that lit me up.
And I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know what to do with my life.
and um and then so I moved back home and I landed back in the doctor's office and I was prescribed
an antidepressant because I was told that I don't handle life transitions well and this was going to
get me over the hump of of this transition and it was just going to be temporary and
that's what I did and I was put on this antidepressant and I ended up being on it for a
year because then I was just feeling good and I didn't think about it until I got my routine,
you know, my yearly sinus infection, went back to the doctor. I saw a different doctor this time.
He prescribed an antibiotic. I went to pick it up and the pharmacist stopped me and she said,
ma'am, I can't give this to you because this will cause a serious side effect, a serious reaction,
interaction with your antidepressant. And not just like, you know, something simple, it would cause
like a heart attack or something very severe. And I was so upset. And so went back to the doctor,
he prescribed something else. And then this happened two more times with this doctor where
the drugs that he was giving me were interacting with the antidepressant I was on. And I was so fed
up. I said, why am I even on this antidepressant? I don't even need to be on it. I was only supposed
to be on it for two months. I was told I don't want to be on this. And he said, okay, so just
stop. So he stopped me cold turkey on this antidepressant. And there's so many, there's so
many, there's so many problems here. And when you think about it, so you're 19 years old,
you got crippling anxiety that's taken over. You got the panic attacks, the numbness throughout
your whole body, chest tightening, throat tightening, probably can't speak, can't eat
anything. You're just, it's crippling anxiety. And then on top of that, you lose everything.
You lose your dream.
You move back home.
You've got to live with that whole thing.
Probably shame is taking over and guilt is taking over.
And then you're at the doctor's office and they don't know how to match drugs.
And that's not uncommon.
That's not uncommon at all.
That's one of the epic mess ups in the industry where they're just prescribing drugs.
no one's really keeping tabs on anything drugs can interact um there's a lot of drugs that kill
people and and and then you're up against that at 19 years old so you're home you're playing you
got a doctor that's you know playing guessing games basically and the thing is is that your
antidepressant what happens to people is they'll stay on it for the rest of their life and
not be able to get off of it. So there's something inside of you that was like, no,
I got to get off of this. So you pushed your doctor. So your doctor, you'd be like, Hey,
you don't have to be honest. And another annoying thing too, is the sinus infection.
It's the doctors don't know why we have sinus infection still to this day. Oh, it's bacteria.
Here's an antibiotic, but not even like what kind of bacteria or anything else like that.
And then coming off the medication cold turkey should have never come off an antidepressant cold turkey.
I've talked to hundreds of doctors, talked to so many different health professionals, and I've taught a lot of them, you don't go cold turkey.
But it's just surprising, you know, that, yeah, once again, here, cold turkey, here you go.
And that's the wrong way to handle it right there.
yeah and I didn't know any different and I had no idea what to expect I had no idea that there
was withdrawal from it and so I was in for a rude awakening um with that and that took months to get
over and I was like well I'm never doing that again so um careful what you wish for because
just a few years later I my anxiety just progressively started getting worse and
one day I just mysteriously can't swallow anymore. And how old are you at this point? You're 22, 23?
I'm like 22, about to turn 23. And like, I had just turned 23 and I was out to dinner and nothing,
it's not like I even choked. It was literally just like something in my brain switched.
and I just, I couldn't register like getting food down my throat. And I panicked. I didn't
know what to do. And I tried to just forget about it. And I tried the next few days, I tried to just
forget about it and not focus on it. But then I started choking. And so there was one moment I was
in a, I was in a car and I was eating and I choked so bad and saw my life flash before my eyes again.
and I had to give myself Heimlich.
And from that moment on of that incident choking,
I was done.
I could not eat or drink absolutely anything.
And I just started starving fast.
I lost like 40 pounds in two weeks.
I just started to go downhill fast.
And that's when I went back to the doctor
and they did ultrasounds.
They did endoscopies.
They did all these tests and they just said,
it's in your head it's just anxiety so we're going to put you back on an antidepressant you
did really well the first time so we're going to put you back on this and so i went back on it
it's not the thing is it's not anxiety you can tag at that but if you can't swallow
because you can't even like your neurological system your brain sending messages to your
vagus nerve. It's not working. Your esophagus isn't working. You're choking to death in a car,
not because you inhaled something and you're talking to a friend, having a good time.
You're just trying to normally eat while you're sitting in a car and then you almost die.
You almost lose your life. And hey, it's anxiety. Well, it's more than that. They put a label so
freely on these things it's more than anxiety and that's a neurological symptom because once you put
the word anxiety onto something like that because anxiety symptoms are real neurological problems
but once you stick a word like anxiety on top of a severe occurrence like that where you couldn't
use your your nerves couldn't talk to your esophagus your muscles your organs and make the
food go down once you throw a word like anxiety on top of that it's like okay there you go Alyssa
you're making it up again because you got anxiety and you're causing drama because you have a history
of drama which you don't have a history of drama you're you know not at all but your symptoms are
real that's a mistake all on its own instead of being like okay we have we have a neurological
issue. And, and it's just, it's even beyond just a word anxiety. So you're back at the doctors,
you're getting the, you're getting all the scans again, you're getting the ultrasound
and they're like, okay, what? Yeah. This, so this went on. And so they put me back on the
antidepressant and it never, it never fixed it though. It might've improved it slightly,
but it wasn't, it was definitely a bandaid. And I still, I struggled after that moment,
that initial moment that day that my life changed forever. I felt different. It was like,
you know how we breathe and we don't think about it. We just, it's like automatic. The same thing
when we eat, we just, when we swallow, we don't think about it. But from that moment on, I was so
hyper-focused on it that I was, it just was like, I don't even have words for how that plagued me
and how that affected everything.
And you're scared to death to swallow food.
You're scared to swallow anything like your own saliva.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
And you do feel something because something is wrong.
It's not in your head.
But I went through, I went and I had the barium swallow.
I had, they ended up stretching my esophagus
because they're thinking, okay, maybe it's a tight esophagus.
But I tried to explain to them, I wasn't getting food stuck.
It was not an issue in my esophagus to me, to my awareness.
It was truly like I'm chewing food and I want to swallow this food, but my brain's not letting it go down.
Like I can't go down and then it's causing me to choke.
And it was just, it created this phobia, this PTSD.
And it was even harder to drink liquids.
Like nothing was easy to get down.
And so every second of the day, it was just like how the anxiety of like, I have to eat because I have to survive.
And how am I going to get this down? And each bite was such a struggle.
And I thought I was going to die each time. And it was absolutely like unbearable.
You know, Spirit of Compassion always told me since I was young that eating disorders are going to be misunderstood.
and that real neurological problems are happening,
but they're going to be passed off as this eating disorder
when it's a serious symptom, an actual neurological problem,
that there's something behind it that's creating a physical symptom,
but yet the industry is going to pass it off as an eating disorder.
And it's devastating, absolutely devastating.
And I've witnessed this for decades.
and spirit of compassion always said, look, it's not going to change either.
It's going to be to every single girl that has a problem swallowing food.
It's, and then it's going to get misconstrued,
misconceived because what happens is that you then get,
yeah, emotionally you get destroyed by this and you got the PTSD
and then the OCD can start going.
So now the OCD is there.
And now you're scared to death.
You got PTSD mixed with OCD, mixed with anxiety too about it all,
coupled with a real neurological symptom.
So also attached to a real neurological symptom.
And then you got the combination of all of that.
And you can't, and when you look at food, you're scared to death.
When you're looking at food.
Scared to death.
And it felt so cool because I loved, I was so passionate about food.
Like I genuinely loved the experience of eating food.
And that's how I coped in life emotionally.
Like I always turned to food when I was struggling with something and I would binge.
And so now here I am, I'm struggling and I don't, I can't turn to food because food is
the enemy now.
And what was even more painful was as I'm navigating all of this alone and the professionals
had no idea.
They had never seen this.
So that made me feel even worse and even more hopeless.
But then family and friends, you know, and clients and people around me, they were, I
was getting all sorts of feedback in people accusing me of, well, you have a history of
an eating disorder.
Now you're anorexic and this is attention.
You're losing weight.
Or I'd have some people say, oh, well, you needed to lose weight and you look great.
And inside, I'm just like all this shame.
But inside, I just want to shake people and be like, you don't understand this torture
and how bad I just want to be normal and how bad I want to eat.
and I'm not trying to starve myself.
This is not for attention, and this isn't anorexia.
And it was just unbelievable.
And what I had to go up against in defending myself through this
because I didn't have, maybe if I had a diagnosis from a doctor
or if I had a label of a neurological disease, it would have been easier.
But it felt like I had to prove myself at the same time.
But still, even when that happens, when you get this diagnosis of a disease
or a rare neurological disorder people around you friends family still might not buy into it either
and true because you're just alyssa making it up or it's all in your head or i mean this is the
drama part about it or you're looking for attention you just don't want to eat or you had an eating
disorder because i've seen people go through this i've seen it where seen women go through this where
all of a sudden they get a diagnosis from one doctor doesn't even matter in the end they take
that diagnosis they bring it back to their family their friends their loved ones their partners and
everybody's rolling their eyes because the other three doctors couldn't find anything wrong so it
becomes just this mixed bag of nuts and it really gets it gets things confused and the trauma just
keeps on going emotionally. Um, but in your case, you weren't even given a diagnosis besides,
Hey, it's Alyssa and her eating disorder. So. And her anxiety. And her anxiety. Yep.
Exactly. And what did, so you're 23 years old and you're dealing with this.
Yes. So, and I was on the antidepressant and, um, for maybe another year. And then
And I was feeling like I had a slight improvement.
It definitely wasn't gone.
It still was plaguing me, but I was functioning a little bit better.
I was not at my worst.
And so I decided, once again, I'm coming off of this.
I didn't want to be on pharmaceuticals.
I was too young.
And I was starting to be more aware of my lifestyle.
And I wanted to live more naturally and all those things.
And so I was on acne medication.
I was on the antidepressant.
I was on a bunch of things.
and I started to stop.
And this time I did wean myself over many months
of the antidepressant.
And it was equally as brutal as the first time.
But I came off of it.
And then within, I would say, maybe a month's time,
my world flipped upside down more than ever before.
And this is when I feel like I had a nervous breakdown.
I landed myself back in the ER
and this time my heart was going crazy with the palpitations and my blood pressure, all these
symptoms. I thought I was having a heart attack again and it felt like more than anxiety and
it just took on a whole new level. At this point in my life, I felt very,
I was 26 at this point and I felt very like familiar with anxiety. I had been living with
it now for several years. So I wasn't a stranger to it. I knew it, but this took on a whole new
level. You've learned how to live with it and it wasn't at its worst. So before 26,
you just learned how to live with it, get by on a daily basis, learn how to ebb and flow with it,
but struggle with it. And then all of a sudden now you're coming on 26
and everything gets turned upside down again. Your heart's going crazy.
heart's going crazy um i just remember that that flip in in my stomach it was like like when you
get that when you're bottom out and your stomach is flipping it was 24 7 i couldn't sleep i couldn't
do anything and then the choking picked up to the point where it wasn't just the swallowing it was
like i was physically choking again and that traumatized me so bad even worse than before
i didn't think it could get worse and here i am and it got worse and i i literally thought i was
going insane this time. I was like, I don't, I, I didn't know where to turn and what to do. And
this is when I, I got bad and fast. And this is when I went to a new psychiatrist and I was
diagnosed with severe panic disorder and agoraphobia and phagophobia and all these phobias.
And this is when my nervous system just completely like shut down. It felt like to where I couldn't
leave the house. I couldn't do anything. Um, it was excruciating. Yeah. That's, I don't even think
that word covers it. No. Yeah. It's tragic. It's tragic. I mean, it is because, uh, honestly,
I can't even imagine what you were going through in that moment. I was so out of body, like the,
the brain fog, because that was new and the depersonalization, it was like,
it's hard to find words to describe it, but it was everything piled up at once. And
I just didn't know how I was going to get through it or how to go on. And, and, and then another
important part is, um, they put me back on the same antidepressant for the third time. And at
this point, I was pretty strong willed about it that I didn't want to be on it and stubborn. And
I didn't want to be on pharmaceuticals. But at this point, I was as desperate as you could get.
And I was like, okay, I'll do anything because I there's no way I can live like, I really can't
live like this. Like I, I need help. And so I was like, I will do anything. So I went back on it.
And within two weeks, I developed, it felt like Parkinson's, I had uncontrollable twitches,
tremors spasms um tingles numbness and i went back to the doctor and they said oh that's a severe
reaction of serotonin syndrome and you can't ever take that again but don't worry there's a million
other drugs that you can take so and i said no i'm done and and what was terrifying was i was
terrified to take any other drugs but i was scared to not take something because i felt like i needed
it. I was also on Xanax at the time. And I made that decision once and for all. It was something
in my soul. I said, you know what? I'm done. I'm completely done. I know that this is only masking
a symptom. This has never gotten me better. It's never felt right within my spirit. It's never felt
congruent. And I've given it my fair shot. And there's something in me that believes
I can heal this. I believe there's a divine intelligence within me as a child of God.
Like there's gotta be a way and I'm going to try and I'm going to die trying, but I'm not,
I'm done with the pharmaceuticals. And that was it. That was the last time I took from,
I came off of everything and, and I started the journey to heal myself naturally.
It's like, Hey, Alyssa, just go to doctor, just take, take their pills. Um,
why aren't you fixed? Why aren't you better? You're not, well, you're not really sick. Um,
If you're that sick, go to the doctor and get fixed.
That's all.
Right.
You'll have the answer.
You'll be all set.
And it just doesn't work that way.
It doesn't.
No.
It doesn't always work that way.
Sometimes we get lucky, but there's more people suffering and struggling.
Just don't get that lucky little break in that moment.
There's more people sick that don't ever get that opportunity.
and you know and basically when you're dealing with chronic illness like this
it's like where do you go what do you do and something inside of you like you said there's
something inside your soul that's just like no i'm done i'm done i'm done and what about like
relationships through all this i mean how did you survive through relation for your relationships
Oh, that was so hard. I was so in the transition of when I stopped the antidepressant for the second time, right before the nervous breakdown, I was newly in a relationship and I was, I was thinking about marrying this guy. And when I landed in the hospital and all of this started, it was a new relationship. So we were still getting to know each other. And I had no idea what was happening to me.
So here I am debilitated. I can't function at this point. Now I can't work. I can't,
we were long distance, so I couldn't go visit him. I couldn't, I couldn't, I wasn't fun. I
couldn't do any of these things. And, and I had no answers to give him. And I just literally
thought I was going crazy. And so that ended up tearing us apart and that didn't work. And that
was really heartbreaking. Um, and it brought up a lot for me of just feeling like I'm unworthy and
I'm never going to be good enough for anybody because I'm a basket case.
I can't do basic functions.
Yeah, that was devastating.
And then family members and friends, people were terrified for me,
but they didn't know how to help.
I think they felt helpless, but that, you know, wasn't –
it wasn't a supportive environment.
um i think they just wanted what they knew which was go back on pharmaceuticals or go
you know go to treatment center go do this and i at that point i was just very adamant that that
was not my path anymore and so there was a lot of disagreements on that well i mean it makes you
feel like you're totally alone because yeah yeah it's it's not like you know lisa i believe in
everything you're going through in every way. And I, I know there's not anything we can do in
the moment, but you know, at the same time you need validation instead of being told to like,
Hey, you know, you probably need to be, you know, probably need to be in a psych ward or something.
You know? Yeah. And, and I was told that and it got to that point when I couldn't work and I
couldn't do basic functions. I couldn't drive anymore. I couldn't go to the store. I couldn't
go to family events, holidays. It was a big deal in my family, like to miss holidays and weddings
and occasions like that. And I mean, that was heartbreaking for me. I didn't want to miss
family events like that, but I was so crippled by what was going on and, and I didn't have answers.
And so everyone around me was just like, if you're as sick as you say you are, you need to,
you know, you need to be in a psych ward and, and, and you need to do this and you need to do that.
And that was so, so hurtful.
And I, again, just feeling so alone, so alone and so scared.
And then having to defend myself all the time to everybody, friends, family, whoever was
around me, it was just a nightmare, complete nightmare.
So it's everybody you talk to, whether it's a family member or cousin, sibling, or a friend
or a boyfriend, whatever.
It's like you're defending yourself nonstop.
Just like constantly defending yourself.
but I had nothing to really back it up because I didn't have,
I didn't know what was wrong with me. And so I started to buy in. Well,
maybe I am losing it. Maybe I'm, I'm just, I'm going crazy. Maybe that,
maybe they're right. You know, I did start to like wonder.
Yeah. Because you want to be sick because Melissa,
you want to be sick. Like, but that's not true. Of course not. Of course not.
But that's what people are told. You know,
they end up getting told that in the end too. That's something that happens a lot where you
must want to be sick or something. You must, it must be something you want or, you know,
or you have a fear of healing. Uh, no, you've been desperate to heal all these years, um,
since you were a child and no child wants to be sick and no teenager wants to be sick.
No young adult wants to be sick. Nobody wants to be sick. And, you know, and so
So I completely understand where, you know, here's the thing too, people, they, because they don't feel the symptom themselves, they just can't connect.
And I think what people have to do is they have to just, they have to trust that this person's suffering and struggling and they got to trust in that.
And it's hard for people to trust in that.
I think that from what I've seen in the history of chronic illness and mystery symptoms and mystery sickness, people just don't believe people.
They just don't believe them.
You know, they receive doctors are like, well, it's anxiety and you need a new medication.
For some reason, that's like a comfort zone for the world who's not sick.
It's like you just go and get your, you know, go to your psychiatrist and get that new antidepressant, get that new anti, you know, anxiety medication and you should be fine.
And, you know, the doctor says your heart's fine.
So whatever you're feeling with your heart palpitations and your ectopic heartbeat and arrhythmia, that's just you being weird, you know, because the doctor says your heart's okay.
and your psychiatrist says you need to be on more medications and it's it's it's a devastating place
to be in and then you defend yourself non-stop and and then it's about like does anybody want
to hear about your symptoms anymore no i mean it's like does your boyfriend want to hear about
your symptoms anymore does your you know it's like your family members don't want to hear about
symptoms anymore. And that's a whole nother thing. And you've, you've been there. Yeah. Yeah.
So you're 26 years old. You probably felt like you've already lived like 10 lifetimes
and, uh, or 20 lifetimes already. Like, what did you do before you found medical medium for your
health? Like, what were some of the things you tried? Did you try the apple cider vinegar? Did
you try different things? Were you on caffeine? What did you try? Yes. I feel like I lived so
many lives and I tried everything. I tried the apple cider vinegar, but that was short-lived
because it was repulsive. I tried the bone broth. I tried paleo, keto, every diet. I tried
the alkaline water ionizer. I was recommended the coffee enemas and the liver flushes and the
all bladder cleanses, but there was something in me that was like, I just could never get myself
to do it. Thankfully. Um, I tried all of the energy healing, um, the functional meds, all the
herbal supplements, all the past live readings, gut health stuff, trying to gut, so trying to,
trying to destroy candida, that whole route you go to. So it's not just, it's not just the keto
root and the ionizers and the apple cider vinegar you're doing the gut health stuff all that too
yep all of it you know it's so sad because this is the musical chairs everybody does
and if you're not so sick you can play in this arena you go to some bone broth you try that you
do some kombucha tea did you try the kombucha tea yeah but i hated it thankfully like it was
just something in me that I just never, I didn't like it. So I didn't do it. When you're really
sick, none of that stuff works and it just doesn't. But when you're not so sick, you can,
the industries can sell all that garbage over and over again to everybody trying to get better or
trying to get better when they're just a little bit sick or trying to get better if they just
want to, if they got a little bit of energy loss and they're still able to do yoga, live their life,
exercise an hour a day, travel anywhere they want. They're really not sick. And then they're like,
oh, I'll do some apple cider vinegar, kombucha tea. I'll do my alkaline ionizer water machine.
You know, I'll do whatever. And so, but when you're really in a place like you are,
I've never seen any of that stuff work for years and years. And I can't believe
they just bring it back and they bring it back and it's still here. It's like,
I thought that stuff died out years ago because it never worked.
Yeah, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I'm sorry you had to actually try all that stuff and do that stuff.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Not only did it not work, but it was damaging.
Like I remember when I was at my sickest and I was recommended to cut out all sugar
when I was desperately needing glucose and things like that
and certain supplements that cause a deeper healing crisis.
And I think it was just really damaging.
But I was so lost. I was desperate to do anything. And I was just seeking support and answers however I could get them.
I mean, did you notice that because when you're a canary like that, did you notice the ionizer not helping? Did you notice these things not helping? Like when you took all these different trendy remedies, did you notice like, oh, wait a minute?
it that's yeah yeah so i the alkaline water machine i honestly i was searching for a purifier
and i was under the impression when i purchased it that it was a purifier and then i found out
not long after that it was not and so i was not really happy about that and i actually so i invested
in this really thousands of dollars in this machine and then i thankfully i stopped drinking
it. I only drank it for like a month. Um, but yeah, that was not fun. With all the, with all
the gut health stuff, what were, what was the goal? Were they telling you functional medicine
doctors or different practitioners, or were they telling you you got to kill everything in your gut?
It must be all there. Maybe that's where your problem is. It's all in there. Did you hear that?
it's all in the gut it's it's always candida or um yeast trying to kill that off um i eat way too
much sugar and i you know i have to do higher fat um yeah all it was just guessing games it was and
it was all like horrible supplements with all of the msg and it was just now people don't know
there's msg and there's supplements i bet you a lot of people just listening to this are like oh
she must have had some supplements MSG. That's not my supplement.
The supplement they're on as they're listening right now has MSG in it and they just don't know
it. Natural flavors and all sorts of crap. Yeah. It's, it's crazy how it is. So you're seasoned,
like you're seasoned. You tried so many things. Did you, did you do the carnitine route?
I did. I did. I took all of them.
How did that go?
It didn't go. I got very, very sick.
And then we were backpedaling like, whoa, my doctor didn't.
My doctor was like, wow, I think I pushed you too hard.
And it was more of the muscle testing and, you know, more the natural route.
And I was on like 50 supplements all at once.
And it just sent me over the edge.
And it was all at the same time that I was having that nervous breakdown.
So it was just like, I got way worse and fast.
And then I really lost all faith because I was like, well, now even the natural doctors
don't have a clue.
No one can help me.
When people are in the natural world and the alternative health world, and they're looking
for answers and they're trying everything, it's like, wait a minute.
That's the answer.
Try to kill off my candida.
That's the answer.
I do a gut health product.
that's the answer. Let me put some probiotics in there. A parasite cleanse or fermented food.
Yeah. Yeah. Fermented food. And then let me do some bone broth. That'll be the answer there.
Or let me get rid of all my processed foods. And now I'm on high fat diet, keto. And
there's this game that plays, but you can, when you get through all that eventually,
and you finally been there and done that, you finally are past the musical chairs,
the guessing games, the theories. And you're like, oh my God, science research doesn't have
an answer to why I'm sick and suffering. All these natural therapies are really just guessing games.
I tried them all. And then you're where? Like, where are you? You're just sitting there going,
oh my God, there's just nothing there. Yeah. Nothing. Nowhere to turn.
I had nowhere to turn. And then all of a sudden,
something happened and then something happened there is truly a miracle um i at this point i
had nothing left but a prayer and i was just praying because honestly i was so i was beyond
sick i was beyond debilitated that i just i wasn't living anyway and i didn't want to keep living i
didn't i had no reason to like i had no quality of life i couldn't function in my body so i was
just so hopeless and I would just sit in my room and, and just cry and pray to either
take me home or to send me an angel or to send me, to send me the right people who could help me
or the right person that could help me. And that's when I came across Medical Medium,
the first book. And it was a very,
it was the most powerful moment of my life it was the moment that I experienced truth like I've never
experienced before I just knew I just knew this was my answer and I knew that I found a miracle
and I couldn't get that book fast enough and as soon as I opened it I couldn't put it down and
I was reading these words and it was it was just like for the first time in my life I was heard
and I was understood and I wasn't alone anymore.
And it instantly restored my hope.
And I knew that even though I didn't know what I had to do,
what steps to take yet, I hadn't gotten that far.
Just that hope alone, that hope of God and of heaven,
it was like so powerfully healing.
It's really amazing.
It's answers, right?
Yeah.
Here you are, nine years old, really sick, no answers.
10 years old 13 years old 16 years old and getting older 18 19 years old and no answers
and i think what happens when people actually receive those answers even if they didn't start
yet because you didn't start yet you just saw the answers it's like hey that's me
that's me i i'm i'm going through that i'm going through that and it was like
it was like I was talking to God there's no other way to describe it it was ever it was it was the
wording it was like my prayers being answered to me it was just like everything I had ever been
through there was an answer for and I just I was so relieved and I and I was like okay I'm gonna
do this I had hope restored and then um I couldn't put the book down and I also listened to some of
podcasts. And it was just so like deeply moving and powerful. And I'll never forget that moment.
And my life changed for the better that day. Did you try the celery juice eventually?
So that was the first thing. Yeah. So that was the first thing that I knew I had to do. That was just
like undeniable, but I was scared because I had the swallowing thing and drinking was really hard.
So I was like, how am I going to do this? But I was willing to do whatever it took.
So I remember the first time I had my celery, it probably took me like 24 hours to get 16 ounces down because of my condition.
But the fact that now here I sit today and I can chug a 32 ounce, it's like that is like such a feat.
That's so miraculous to me from how far I've come.
You don't take it for granted.
I don't take one bite, one sip, one, anything for granted. No.
It's just, you know, there's really no words to describe that because people, they eat,
they don't even think it's like, it's not even a thought or, you know, like eat, drink.
Right.
There's nothing to even think about. It's just, you're just doing it. And then when you lose all
that ability to do it and you get it back it's like whoa i'll never forget and i don't take it
for granted no it's really emotional it's really it's really remarkable there's really no words
it's just it's a miracle and i'm so grateful you're starting your medical medium journey
and you're starting slow on the celery juice.
You're heading into the heavy metal detox smoothie.
I start with the heavy metal detox smoothie
and that was a little easier
because it was thicker to get down.
So I didn't love it at first.
Now it's like my favorite thing in the whole world.
I can't get enough of it.
I also, right off the bat,
I started to eliminate the troublemaker foods,
the basic ones.
I didn't, I didn't know at the time that about the MSG and the chocolate and the vinegar and
the salt. So I was still eating some of the vegan or the plant-based like processed foods. And, um,
but I think it was all perfect for where I was in my journey. I think it was like the perfect
pace for me. And then, um, I started to bring in B12 and certain supplements. And then it was when
liver rescue came out. Um, I, the day I got my hands on that book, I read it cover to cover.
and that's a beefy book. I couldn't put it down. And the next day I jumped on the three, six, nine
original cleanse. And that was really powerful. Like I really saw my health. I saw my health
improve from day one, but once I did that cleanse too, I really saw like a huge,
huge, massive improvement leap forward. And, um, and then I brought in more supplements, uh, zinc,
vitamin C, the lemon balm, cat's claw, magnesium, more of the basic supplements and got like
more into that as a support system. And, um, and then after about two years,
then I really went deeper into my healing. And, um, that's when I really, really saw like
tremendous, like healing, like I never thought I could ever achieve. And that that's when I, um,
after cleanse to heal and doing the advanced cleanse and I eliminated all
overt fats from my diet. I went grain free, salt free. I just focus on, um, pretty much,
I'm pretty much raw. Um, lots of leafy greens, while lots of wild foods, lots of aloe and
wild blueberries and herbs. And sometimes I'll do steamed potatoes, but I feel really good raw and,
And sometimes I'll mono meal or just do advanced cleanse, but I've never felt better ever in my life.
And yeah, it's so beautiful.
It's not just fruits and vegetables.
It's like the wild food.
It's the herbs.
And someone might be listening now and saying, oh, magnesium B12 doesn't sound too original.
Vitamin C doesn't sound original.
And what they don't know.
It's the details.
It's the details that matter.
And what they may not realize is that B12 has changed because of medical meme information.
And it's used differently because of medical meme information.
The right kind of B12, the adenosylcobalamin and methicobalamin combined, not the psycobalamin, not that one.
That was the one that was out there.
Not the B12 shots because medical meme information warns people about B12 shots.
Right.
And it's not that.
It's these details that matter.
It's not having natural flavors and the citric acid and the B12.
All these things make a difference to getting better.
It's the right kind of vitamin C.
It's magnesium glycinate.
And today someone might be like, well, you know,
Anthony's talking about magnesium glycinate with Alyssa, big deal.
Well, guess what?
Everybody was on magnesium citrate and everything else.
They weren't on the one that worked.
And there's these very important details, no alcohol in all the herbs.
Someone might say, cat's claw, hey, I've heard of cat's claw without Anthony.
Well, there's 35 years of me teaching about cat's claw so that it got into the Lyme disease protocols in the world.
That came from medical medium and making sure there was no alcohol in the cat's claw as well.
And it's all these details.
So when you bring them all together, it matters.
Same with the zinc.
It's people didn't know to take zinc for neurological problems or any kind of chronic fatigue syndrome.
It didn't exist.
And medical medium info is about taking zinc, liquid sulfate, and using the right kind of zinc and using it for all the neurological problems.
So it's like, hey, here's answers to why you're sick.
Here's the tools and the details matter.
And you were just figuring it out.
But with the books, you and I weren't talking.
We weren't talking.
I didn't know.
No, no.
And I want people to know out there in the audience that it wasn't like I knew you or anything.
No, it's you were using the books.
You were reading them and you were learning.
and following all the free information that I always put out.
And you fought your way to this place.
You did it.
You did it.
You didn't have me holding your hand.
Yeah, it's so true.
It's how important the details are.
It's so huge.
And I did.
I took the books and I took all of your amazing resources
that you provide for all of us so graciously and so generously.
And I just dove in and I became obsessed with this information and I'm so passionate about it.
And, um, and yeah, it's, and I, and I did, I did this just from reading the books and studying the information and absorbing all that I could.
And even to this day, I mean, I'm never without my books and I've read them all cover to cover several times.
And every time I do, it's like, it's, I'm reading it for the first time.
It's just a wealth of endless knowledge and divine wisdom.
and I'm always learning something new.
And, you know, for many years
when I first was on my healing journey
and I was doing great and I was improving
and I got myself really far,
but I was, I had been off of coffee for four years,
but I was still doing a lot of chocolate.
And I didn't know, cause I hadn't learned yet
that that was not supportive of my health
or certain things like that.
And I think the biggest, I mean, all of this has contributed
and it's all been so important,
but heavy metal detox smoothie for me
And then eliminating fats has been so critical because I didn't realize that my diet, even though it was plant-based and it was really healthy, it was still really high in fat.
And I didn't know that I wasn't really cleansing out as quickly as I wanted to or as effectively as I wanted to with the fat in my bloodstream.
So I'm really grateful for all this information that you provide for us, Anthony.
I think when you discovered the first Medical Medium book, it was at more of an innocent time.
I think that now the industry is so lethal.
The alternative medicine industry is so brutal.
Everybody's trying to sell everything.
Every company's trying to sell everything
that it's hard to sift through anything now.
You really do need an angel on your shoulder to say,
no, here's a direction to go.
And you can be spared from everything that you went through.
alissa and i think it's even got i think the woods have gotten thicker now too so if someone's in
your position they're gonna have a harder time you know and because there's so much noise out
there now it's like which direction you go because when you quit coffee you quit coffee
you know for for four years you already quit the coffee you didn't know to quit the chocolate
it. But now I'm seeing people don't even have a chance to quit coffee because the industry,
the alternative health industry is trying to convince everybody that it's completely healthy
and perfect to be on. So say someone's dealing with a neurological symptom or in your case,
a hundred symptoms, a hundred, like literally though, that's not just an exaggeration.
It's a hundred symptoms. No, literally. And there's probably more,
but literally that's what I'd written down. Yeah. I don't know how, I don't know how someone
could get through that you're hearing oh well caffeine's good for me and coffee and matcha tea
is good for me and everything else how are you ever going to swim out of that swim out of that
that pond of serpents or get out of the woods to see the light how can you now it's almost
it's almost it's much worse than it's ever been and yeah but you you fought like hell to get out
of there. And really, I have to give you credit, beyond credit, because it took something inside
of you to just be a fighter, a fighter, and not give up. You could have given up. You could have
given up when you were younger. There's people that give up when they're 18 years old. That's
too much the bear. They give up and they just shut down and they end up dying in a hospital
They end up dying at home in a bed and they end up dying.
Or they end up something even like just, yeah.
And worse and worse.
What I mean by that is it's devastating because it could just be an endless, endless hell.
Someone can go through with it all and dying on top of that.
And I think the bottom line is that with you, you were like, no, I'm not going to let this kill me.
And I'm going to keep the faith and keep strong.
And you did.
You made it to 26 years old.
You made it to you were 26 years old is what you did.
Thank you.
When so many others would have given up and you fought and fought.
And it's not like you had this huge support system.
And it's not like you had this endless, you know, endless just help all the time or validation and being heard.
You stayed alive to your 26, fought for it, tried to live life the best you could, and things were bad.
And boom, you did something about it.
You know, you found the information, but it took something inside of you that is just incredible. And that, that's something inside of you is part of how you write your music. And I like, I like music. I listen to music. Everybody listens to music. They like music.
What I like about your music is it's coming from a place that very few people have come from.
There are not health authors, but authors, I guess, of emotional health or something.
There's authors out there.
And they get a book deal out there because they had a near-death experience.
and there's, you know, like I got into a car crash,
didn't think I was going to make it,
or I fell off a cliff, landed on rocks,
and I was in ICU and I crawled out of it,
or I had, you know, I was in a coma,
and there's these authors out there throughout the years.
You had near-death experiences.
You did.
Yeah.
You did.
It's, yeah, you did.
And so when I listen to your music or I listen to you tell your story, it's coming from a place of, you know, yeah, near-death experiences.
But a place of like, hey, I'm going to rise out of this, fight my way out of this.
I'm going to sing my music.
And you're here telling your story.
And thousands of people are going to hear it.
And they're going to get something from it.
they're going to get something that's so important.
So you don't give up and there's a way to get better and you can get there.
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I love what you said about what,
what I've done if I had me when I was going through what I did and that really
hit me. Cause I didn't think about that. And I,
I often can't believe what I've overcome. I think it's really,
It's just all a work of God. And I'm so grateful to be here. I'm so honored. And I just pray that whomever hears this or hears my music in any way can just feel that hope and can feel the healing power of music and know that if I can truly, if I can overcome what I have, anybody can, like just to hold onto that hope.
And thanks to you, we have the answers that we need.
And yeah, we're not alone.
So that's my intention.
What would you tell that 13-year-old girl?
What would you tell that 16-year-old?
What would you tell that 19-year-old?
You know, what would you tell the 23-year-old?
What would you tell that girl that's going through this?
Wow.
I would acknowledge her and I would,
I would just give her so much love and compassion,
so much compassion that,
that she was never given. And,
and I've learned that from you, that compassion,
it truly is like the most powerful healing force in the world.
And, and I would tell her that it's going to be okay. And to,
to hang on that she is a fighter, even when I didn't realize it.
And it was going to get better that this wasn't going to be this way forever.
And.
Amazing. Yeah. Amazing.
Are you up for another song?
I would love to. I don't, I don't want to push you into it.
It's just that your music is so incredible and.
oh i would love to i would be so honored incredible i'm honored as well
this is watch me fly
feels like my world's crashing down
I can't feel my feet on the ground.
I don't want to start over again, but I know that this has to end for me to get where I'm going.
Gonna use the pain to make a change.
I'm ready to play, leave it all behind.
Even when I'm nervous, I'll find the courage to rise from the fire like a true fighter.
Oh, this is my time.
I'm gonna play.
This is all new to me.
But I see beauty in the breaking.
Now I know where I stand.
If I fall, I know that I live.
I'm gonna live in the moment.
I'm gonna use the pain to make a change.
I'm ready to play, leave it all behind.
Even when I'm nervous, I'll find the courage to rise from the fire like a true fighter.
Oh, this is my time.
I'm gonna fly.
I'm ready to fly.
I'm ready to fly.
I'm ready.
I'm ready to fly. I'm ready to fly. I'm ready to fly. I'm ready to fly. Leave it all behind. Even when I'm nervous, I'll find the courage to rise from the fire like a true fighter.
Oh, this is my time.
I'm gonna fly.
Watch me fly.
Watch me fly.
